The other day I was talking to a friend about an idea he had for a new project that could turn into a business, potentially, maybe down the road. My friend is a musician and the project would revolve around music, but he values my view on things related to business so he bounced the idea off me for my opinion. I gave him some pointers and helped him think about the big picture about where it could go. I got him so pumped up that he wanted to hang up so that he could write down everything coming to him before he forgot it. I got a big thank you from him later that day.
That happens to me with a lot of my close friends and family. And I don't think it's a coincidence.
I'm a positive person to those people who I care about. I help them conceptualize things and give them my 2 cents on decisions they're making. I don't always know the answer but if you ask me for my opinion or share good news with me, I assume it's because you think you'll like what you find on my end of the conversation. I'm fortunate enough to recognize that and love rising to the occasion.
And then sometimes I want to share good news with people or ask for their opinion. Seeing that I'm a big fan of face to face interaction, and I spend 80 hours a week in my office, I started sharing the news and asking questions of those in my office. It took me a few months, but I'm realizing that's a mistake.
Bringing my personal life into the office and expecting to find the same kind of support and love that I find with family and close friends was pretty naive of me. It's not their fault, though, and I still enjoy them and respect them as coworkers. I'm learning to manage the work/life balance and the sad truth is that most people won't be happy for me when something good happens to me.
If A=A, all is well. If I bold one A, now it's no longer equal to the regular A and that upsets the regular A.
Those people are weak cards. And they don't support a strong house of cards. So I discard them.
I want to be a solid, reliable card for people. I'm a big believer in karma so I know it will come back one way or another. I give because I know I'll receive in return. Some might call that selfish but what's the alternative? Give, give, give? Before you know know it, you'll have nothing left to give. Giving and receiving over a lifetime goes a lot farther than only giving for a year.
So here's my challenge for you: Assuming you want to be better people - stronger cards - I challenge you to pay attention to the way you react when they break news to you or ask you for your opinion. Notice it, think about it, and ask yourself, "if I was that person, would I consider myself to be a strong card?"
Deep down, are you happy for them or do you find yourself inexplicably jealous?
No matter the answer, it's never too late to change.
There are 52 cards for a reason :)